I have my mom in town for a few days and am very excited. Just picked her up from the airport at lunchtime. She got a rental car because she does not trust my car to drive us around (my 15 year old, 185000+ mileage Camry). So now we are sporting a bright "Razorback" red HHR. Dar is too embarrased to ride with us.
Tomorrow, mom and I are heading to Orlando to check out some Indian clothing stores. I have no idea what we will find, but we will be exploring and checking the scene out. Most specifically we are looking for a lehnga for me to wear at the reception. I also want to know what the stores have so I can assist some of my friends in locating either lehngas themselves or sarees to wear. If it turns out to be a total flop, Dar's mom is heading back to India in 3 days and may have to find this dress for me too! I think things will work out.
I anticipate taking photos and sharing them. Sometimes I have the best intentions.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Austin Texas
Dar had his first interview Monday morning in Shelby North Carolina. Went well and sounds like a really good opportunity. We'll see what happens. More interviews to go.
So here I am sitting in the hotel room, pondering where to go. Dar has just left to head off to his first of 3 interviews here in Texas. I'm not sure what I should do first this morning. Breakfast sounds good. Perhaps I'll do that. [Dar just called...made it easily to his meeting, with much time to spare.] Texas seems interesting. I grew up making fun of the state and now here I am contemplating a potential move to its heart. Here's the sunset last night when we were flying in... They do it nice here.
It's very wierd to be selecting which city to which to move. "Pick a city! We'll find a hospital!" It's almost too open. Overwhelming. We've definately narrowed it down. Charlotte. Austin. Greenville. There are more, but I think I've forgotten them. Too busy thinking about other plans.
Dar was lucky enough to spend the past weekend with his entire family (minus me) in Charlotte. His brother and fam were there from Houston. Sister already lives there. Parents too. About the only wedding update from that weekend is that his dad wants me to contact him every week to give him my updates. He really just wants to be included and be in the "know". Which sounds find to me. Communication, communication, communication!
We've settled on a florist. Dar actually went on the interview to this florist with me. He liked them and so did I. Their proposal looks great and they feel easy to work with. I am very excited about this decision. I've been working on the catering, but the Indian Restaurants in town are s-l-o-w to respond. Very frustrating. I know that it will happen, but I wanted to to happen yesterday, or like 10 days ago. So I take a deep breath and realize that this is just how it goes with them and will go forward and know that it will all come together.
So here I am sitting in the hotel room, pondering where to go. Dar has just left to head off to his first of 3 interviews here in Texas. I'm not sure what I should do first this morning. Breakfast sounds good. Perhaps I'll do that. [Dar just called...made it easily to his meeting, with much time to spare.] Texas seems interesting. I grew up making fun of the state and now here I am contemplating a potential move to its heart. Here's the sunset last night when we were flying in... They do it nice here.
It's very wierd to be selecting which city to which to move. "Pick a city! We'll find a hospital!" It's almost too open. Overwhelming. We've definately narrowed it down. Charlotte. Austin. Greenville. There are more, but I think I've forgotten them. Too busy thinking about other plans.
Dar was lucky enough to spend the past weekend with his entire family (minus me) in Charlotte. His brother and fam were there from Houston. Sister already lives there. Parents too. About the only wedding update from that weekend is that his dad wants me to contact him every week to give him my updates. He really just wants to be included and be in the "know". Which sounds find to me. Communication, communication, communication!
We've settled on a florist. Dar actually went on the interview to this florist with me. He liked them and so did I. Their proposal looks great and they feel easy to work with. I am very excited about this decision. I've been working on the catering, but the Indian Restaurants in town are s-l-o-w to respond. Very frustrating. I know that it will happen, but I wanted to to happen yesterday, or like 10 days ago. So I take a deep breath and realize that this is just how it goes with them and will go forward and know that it will all come together.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
an unanticipated delay
I need to apologize for not having any updates recently. Dar and I became involved in an unfortunate accident in our lives. Through this incident I was emotionally unable to work on many wedding details, as it became very stressful. Although this incident is still ongoing, I feel that I am beginning to find some acceptance of this being something that will be part of our lives for awhile. I'd rather not discuss details of the incident, but felt it was worth mentioning as a reason for the lack of updates. The stress also inhibited my ability to find anything creative to write. I spent a lot of time doing sketches and other various drawings in my attempt to find my creative side again.
Dar and I spent 2 weekends ago in Charlotte again; it was Dar's dad's 70th Birthday. I had some very productive conversations with his dad and his mom. I feel like we are much more on the same page. In fact, we did our talking sans-Dar (who slept very late that morning). I think we need to continue to keep our communication lines open.
And here are the Save-the-Dates...
Dar and I spent 2 weekends ago in Charlotte again; it was Dar's dad's 70th Birthday. I had some very productive conversations with his dad and his mom. I feel like we are much more on the same page. In fact, we did our talking sans-Dar (who slept very late that morning). I think we need to continue to keep our communication lines open.
I am somewhat behind schedule as of now, but feel that I can cover some ground. I have finalized the contract with our photographer. You can find the link to her blog in my links section. She is amazing and I can't wait to work with her. I have booked out 3 Bed & Breakfasts for our closest family and friends to stay in. I'll take care of a full hotel block in a few months, but I wanted to keep my those nearest to me next door. I'm in the process of researching florists and getting prepared to contact the Indian restaurants we are interested in doing our food. AND mom is coming in November to go do some of our own Indian shopping in Orlando and I'm very excited. :)
And here are the Save-the-Dates...
Monday, August 24, 2009
talcum powder.
Wow. Corey and I just finished the Save-the-Dates. I'm completely on wedding overload. I was so busy at work last week, that I was unable to follow up with the Bed & Breakfasts for some of our guests. That will have to take place tomorrow. I did a little bit of emailing with Ingrid and trying to nail down her contract. AND then I dragged Mandar out to the Beach with me to see what Corey and I were accomplishing with the paper. She is such an amazing designer and I am so glad that she's one of my best friends and is doing this for me. As soon as I get some images of her hard work, I'll post them.
I spent this past weekend in wedding mode too. Not my wedding however. Dar and I went to Connecticut for his friend from High School's wedding. There was HUGE group of High School friends there...his friends that is. So different and removed from my world. Hearing them talk about life growing up, felt like some sort of fairy tale or straight out of a book. Not real life. Everyone's smart. At least 6 doctors from his small high school class. I have none.
2 years ago at his 10 year High School Reunion, some guy (not a friend) discovered I was from Arkansas. He went on to discuss his one year living in Mississippi and talked at will about how incredibly Racist we were in the south. How prejudiced we were against "black people". He talked down to me and was rather insulting, like I had some sort of mental block and if he lectured me long enough I would rise above my past and, I don't know, become a midwestern. I wanted out of the conversation but before I made my escape, I asked him where all the black people were he graduated with.
Since then, I've had an odd taste about this highly-educated, no crime town from where Dar was raised. Don't get me wrong, I very much enjoy being around Dar's High School friends and part of me is very jealous that he was able to establish such great relationships. Maybe a lot of it does come from some jealousy. They were certainly exposed to a lot of things I only dream about. I wonder how my life would have been different.
But here I am. I am where I am. Dar has a large group of really wonderful friends. I have a small group, but wonderful nonetheless.
Oh, and the Talcum Powder from my post title you continue to ponder? Some exploded in a suitcase outside our plane in Connecticut. Fire Trucks. Haz Mat. Full suits and gear. It could have been anthrax. or heroine. or talcum powder. I mean if you breathe it in, it could kill you. Definately head to toe suits were needed. Delay: 30 minutes.
I spent this past weekend in wedding mode too. Not my wedding however. Dar and I went to Connecticut for his friend from High School's wedding. There was HUGE group of High School friends there...his friends that is. So different and removed from my world. Hearing them talk about life growing up, felt like some sort of fairy tale or straight out of a book. Not real life. Everyone's smart. At least 6 doctors from his small high school class. I have none.
2 years ago at his 10 year High School Reunion, some guy (not a friend) discovered I was from Arkansas. He went on to discuss his one year living in Mississippi and talked at will about how incredibly Racist we were in the south. How prejudiced we were against "black people". He talked down to me and was rather insulting, like I had some sort of mental block and if he lectured me long enough I would rise above my past and, I don't know, become a midwestern. I wanted out of the conversation but before I made my escape, I asked him where all the black people were he graduated with.
Since then, I've had an odd taste about this highly-educated, no crime town from where Dar was raised. Don't get me wrong, I very much enjoy being around Dar's High School friends and part of me is very jealous that he was able to establish such great relationships. Maybe a lot of it does come from some jealousy. They were certainly exposed to a lot of things I only dream about. I wonder how my life would have been different.
But here I am. I am where I am. Dar has a large group of really wonderful friends. I have a small group, but wonderful nonetheless.
Oh, and the Talcum Powder from my post title you continue to ponder? Some exploded in a suitcase outside our plane in Connecticut. Fire Trucks. Haz Mat. Full suits and gear. It could have been anthrax. or heroine. or talcum powder. I mean if you breathe it in, it could kill you. Definately head to toe suits were needed. Delay: 30 minutes.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
language barriers
Mandar and I had a very long conversation regarding my previous post about the family. We sat and talked for quite a long time earlier in the week discussing it. I found it interesting that his dad followed up on our visit, asking Dar, if I was offended when he told me to go help Mrs. Desai in the kitchen. My answer is yes I was offended, but it's not a fight I'm going to fight. I accepted it as the way it will be. 2 hours later in the discussion with Dar, I came to realize I still have a lot of ground to cover in understanding his family. Despite the fact they have lived in the United States for over 40 years, their first language is not English and they have phrases (i.e. "in our family...") that are just used without realizing the implications of the situation in which it is used. They still struggle expressing themselves in most ways.
I think they know (according to Dar) that I have the most control over this wedding. Hopefully we'll learn sooner rather than later how to balance that aspect and their cultural-view of weddings (that it's about the parents). It's new for them and it's new for me. In the end it I believe we will come together.
It's halfway through August and I have completed visiting all of the Bed and Breakfasts in Riverside. I'm working via email with my photographer. I was introduced to the Florist I'm most interested in working with. And I have collected addresses for about 150 people. We leave Thursday for 4 days and I would like to finish with the B&Bs, if possible, before then and more things to clean out and organize in the back of our house.
I think they know (according to Dar) that I have the most control over this wedding. Hopefully we'll learn sooner rather than later how to balance that aspect and their cultural-view of weddings (that it's about the parents). It's new for them and it's new for me. In the end it I believe we will come together.
It's halfway through August and I have completed visiting all of the Bed and Breakfasts in Riverside. I'm working via email with my photographer. I was introduced to the Florist I'm most interested in working with. And I have collected addresses for about 150 people. We leave Thursday for 4 days and I would like to finish with the B&Bs, if possible, before then and more things to clean out and organize in the back of our house.
change over
I've moved locations. I wanted a more user-friendly update-able format. I am keeping the google sites location for the "extras". Now I have to set up the guest site, as this page provides way too many in-depth details for my typical guest.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
culture clash
Updates to website include photos under Venue section and the new Fabric page!
I'm feeling very overwhelmed. Not from the massive amounts of photo I have uploaded (most of which are not published yet!), but from working through details of the planning. To be expected, right? Unfortunately, I feel, most of the stress is very undeserved. Mandar and I spent last weekend in NC with his family. One night with his parents and a second night with his sister. I got to pick up the clothing they bought for me and family. While I was excited, it was very tempered. The presentation of them felt forced from his family. Awkward. Out of place.
And if I hear "in our family..." one more time, I might scream.
Thankfully, my saving grace was Lindsey. Fabulous friend. She and her wondeful boyfriend made the drive north with us. She was incredibly supportive, throughout the process of going through the planning talks with them.
If I picked one thing that seems the oddest to me, it is the fact that I am constantly setting boundaries with his parents. They are great and friendly and would do anything for us. Or so I think. They act as if they would completely take control of this whole process, albeit with no input from me, if I let them. So to appease them, they get to control the entire reception dinner! All Indian food. I am trying to meet their needs and wants with this. They also get to handle the Hindu ceremony, because that is beyond my scope. They get some time to work with the food, but the ceremony needs to get going. I have sent them all the information they need to contact the Hindu society here in Jacksonville, including a contact of a friend who is very involved in the society. They have proceeded with nothing. Apparently the only control they want is to tell me about how they do everything "in our family..." and not actually assist me in making it happen.
However, the clothing is beautiful. The jewelery is beautiful. They bought really wondeful things in India and I do appreciate their hard work in getting it all done.
So what's my game plan now? The August to-do list: I'm collecting addresses. Our parents have until the end of August to get me addresses. Meeting with Corey to get paper selected for EVERYTHING. Finalize the details of my photography contract with Ingrid. Start meeting with florists. Find location for Mehndi party--which means, checking out Bed & Breakfasts here in Riverside.
Other August activities include: keeping up my backyard grass-growing endeavor, 1 wedding shower for a friend, 3 nights in the Northeast (1 in Massachusetts and 2 in Connecticut for wedding preceeded by a quick hello to my aunt and uncle), the beginning of the Jaguars football season with one home preseason game (!), organizing our back room and guest bedroom for guests visiting and wedding storage space (!!), and preparing for an 8-day visit from my dad at the beginning of September.
And I'm off!
I'm feeling very overwhelmed. Not from the massive amounts of photo I have uploaded (most of which are not published yet!), but from working through details of the planning. To be expected, right? Unfortunately, I feel, most of the stress is very undeserved. Mandar and I spent last weekend in NC with his family. One night with his parents and a second night with his sister. I got to pick up the clothing they bought for me and family. While I was excited, it was very tempered. The presentation of them felt forced from his family. Awkward. Out of place.
And if I hear "in our family..." one more time, I might scream.
Thankfully, my saving grace was Lindsey. Fabulous friend. She and her wondeful boyfriend made the drive north with us. She was incredibly supportive, throughout the process of going through the planning talks with them.
If I picked one thing that seems the oddest to me, it is the fact that I am constantly setting boundaries with his parents. They are great and friendly and would do anything for us. Or so I think. They act as if they would completely take control of this whole process, albeit with no input from me, if I let them. So to appease them, they get to control the entire reception dinner! All Indian food. I am trying to meet their needs and wants with this. They also get to handle the Hindu ceremony, because that is beyond my scope. They get some time to work with the food, but the ceremony needs to get going. I have sent them all the information they need to contact the Hindu society here in Jacksonville, including a contact of a friend who is very involved in the society. They have proceeded with nothing. Apparently the only control they want is to tell me about how they do everything "in our family..." and not actually assist me in making it happen.
However, the clothing is beautiful. The jewelery is beautiful. They bought really wondeful things in India and I do appreciate their hard work in getting it all done.
So what's my game plan now? The August to-do list: I'm collecting addresses. Our parents have until the end of August to get me addresses. Meeting with Corey to get paper selected for EVERYTHING. Finalize the details of my photography contract with Ingrid. Start meeting with florists. Find location for Mehndi party--which means, checking out Bed & Breakfasts here in Riverside.
Other August activities include: keeping up my backyard grass-growing endeavor, 1 wedding shower for a friend, 3 nights in the Northeast (1 in Massachusetts and 2 in Connecticut for wedding preceeded by a quick hello to my aunt and uncle), the beginning of the Jaguars football season with one home preseason game (!), organizing our back room and guest bedroom for guests visiting and wedding storage space (!!), and preparing for an 8-day visit from my dad at the beginning of September.
And I'm off!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
moon theory
No, it's not a full moon. But it sure feels like there's been one for the past 2 days. People are acting up who don't act up. And some people (*ahem* staff) are getting snotty and self-entitled. Here's my theory:
Revenge of the Moon.
Anyone who works in the healthcare system completely know that things get cooky when the Full Moon comes around. Yes, studies say its not true; but who cares? It's only the Moon using its Lunar pull on those evidenced-based-only believers...those people of little faith. Yesterday I could have sworn it was a full moon. It's not. But it was the anniversary of the day we landed on the Moon. Today the anniversary of the first walk on the Moon. The Moon is pissed off now. We left trash and metal garbage and who knows what on its face. Wouldn't you be mad? The Moon is exacting its revenge yesterday and today. So watch out!
Who knows what tomorrow will bring? We can only hope to survive through this until its the anniversary of the day we left the Moon!
Revenge of the Moon.
Anyone who works in the healthcare system completely know that things get cooky when the Full Moon comes around. Yes, studies say its not true; but who cares? It's only the Moon using its Lunar pull on those evidenced-based-only believers...those people of little faith. Yesterday I could have sworn it was a full moon. It's not. But it was the anniversary of the day we landed on the Moon. Today the anniversary of the first walk on the Moon. The Moon is pissed off now. We left trash and metal garbage and who knows what on its face. Wouldn't you be mad? The Moon is exacting its revenge yesterday and today. So watch out!
Who knows what tomorrow will bring? We can only hope to survive through this until its the anniversary of the day we left the Moon!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
friends
The past month has felt like a whirlwind. I've been out of town twice for weddings in Arkansas, Mandar has been out one weekend, we had friends in Fernandina for a weekend, and then Mandar has been working nonstop. We've barely seen each other the past 6 weeks. While I have had lots of alone time, I have spent my "free time" in my yard doing lots of yardwork.
Alone outside, sweating in the heat, focused on things sprouting up and growing has resulted in lots of extra thinking. It gave me the opportunity to begin really narrowing down on what is most important to me about this next adventure in my life. What is the most important thing about this wedding to me. Yes, the most obvious answer should be I am marrying the man I love, etc. etc. But it feels more than that. Whether or not we were getting married, we would be together. There has to be more.
We are two very different people. We are two different cultures. We come from two different places. We look at the world differently. Somehow in all of that confusion we found common ground and have merged into two people that match each other. If we were a book, we would be one of those books that has several different parts in it. Part One: Mandar's story. Part Two: Madeline's story. Part Three: the point at which the stories cross each other and begin to influence the other's outcome. This is the part I really want to honor in our wedding. Yes, it is about us, but we've been an us for awhile. It's about our two stories coming together and culminating into Part Four. Our friends and family who've been around us and influenced us throughout our lives are coming together in one place. It feels very surreal.
(Because I do have to leave for work now and can't keep typing,) the most important things that I want to happen are all in relation to and to honor those people in our lives. My mind has been going over and over the confusing process of bringing and merging our two cultures together without sacrificing us in the process. I have so many more questions that need to be answered.
Oh, and I found my Christian wedding dress.
Alone outside, sweating in the heat, focused on things sprouting up and growing has resulted in lots of extra thinking. It gave me the opportunity to begin really narrowing down on what is most important to me about this next adventure in my life. What is the most important thing about this wedding to me. Yes, the most obvious answer should be I am marrying the man I love, etc. etc. But it feels more than that. Whether or not we were getting married, we would be together. There has to be more.
We are two very different people. We are two different cultures. We come from two different places. We look at the world differently. Somehow in all of that confusion we found common ground and have merged into two people that match each other. If we were a book, we would be one of those books that has several different parts in it. Part One: Mandar's story. Part Two: Madeline's story. Part Three: the point at which the stories cross each other and begin to influence the other's outcome. This is the part I really want to honor in our wedding. Yes, it is about us, but we've been an us for awhile. It's about our two stories coming together and culminating into Part Four. Our friends and family who've been around us and influenced us throughout our lives are coming together in one place. It feels very surreal.
(Because I do have to leave for work now and can't keep typing,) the most important things that I want to happen are all in relation to and to honor those people in our lives. My mind has been going over and over the confusing process of bringing and merging our two cultures together without sacrificing us in the process. I have so many more questions that need to be answered.
Oh, and I found my Christian wedding dress.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
venues...done
Yay for new updates! Most importantly we have a date set. Mark your calendars for June 5, 2010. The Hindu ceremony will take place at the Garden Club of Jacksonville, followed by a Christian Ceremony at Riverside Park United Methodist Church, and then returning to the Garden Club of Jax for reception, dinner, and party. The Garden Club meets our needs really well. It's a great location, right on the river, with the back patio facing the downtown skyline. They are large enough and require you to supply all of your own vendors (which will be needed, especially for the Indian food; I trust no non-Indians in Jacksonville to make Indian food). The church is less than a quarter mile away, just a few blocks, and very walkable for most people. It's also the church that I have been attending since moving to Florida. I'm very excited and relieved that these places will work out for us and that I have them booked.
Next...photographer!
Next...photographer!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
brief update
So I definately kept my promise of no more planning. And I guess now I have officially started. After much research (before and after getting engaged) I had my venue choice narrowed down to ONE place here in Jacksonville. I made it there this week, looked around, and LOVED it. I'm not going to say much else, because I don't want to jinx myself. I meet again with the facility this Thursday to do the contract. I'll have a place and time in just a few days!
I created "The Ring" page. The poem is off some art I made during graduate school during the early days of Mandar and I dating. For his 30th birthday I had the poem/art scanned, enlarged, and printed onto canvas. His 30th birthday was 6 days after we got engaged, so I took some time and photographed the ring on the canvas.
I created "The Ring" page. The poem is off some art I made during graduate school during the early days of Mandar and I dating. For his 30th birthday I had the poem/art scanned, enlarged, and printed onto canvas. His 30th birthday was 6 days after we got engaged, so I took some time and photographed the ring on the canvas.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
engaged
It's been two weeks exactly since we got engaged. And I have had to do more planning that I anticipated in those two weeks...
First, Mandar's parents leave tomorrow for India. Measurements have been taken of me, my mom, and my aunt for some clothing. Also, their "preliminary" guest list and budget have been discussed. My parents have yet to get me their "preliminary" guest list. They have 2 more weeks to get it to me. Their budget will be discussed this weekend.
After that, NO planning for 2 weeks. Because one week of work and one week of vacation in the Keys. I love my life!
(Then off to find a venue(s) and set a date.)
I'm also going to take some more creative photos of my ring and then post them.
First, Mandar's parents leave tomorrow for India. Measurements have been taken of me, my mom, and my aunt for some clothing. Also, their "preliminary" guest list and budget have been discussed. My parents have yet to get me their "preliminary" guest list. They have 2 more weeks to get it to me. Their budget will be discussed this weekend.
After that, NO planning for 2 weeks. Because one week of work and one week of vacation in the Keys. I love my life!
(Then off to find a venue(s) and set a date.)
I'm also going to take some more creative photos of my ring and then post them.
Monday, April 20, 2009
30th birthday
Whose unchanging self
has an opportunity in gaining
a deeper understanding
of our captives?
Overwhelming closure
begins to arise from inside
my body
wanting to make
phenomena as
unhappiness and
kaleidoscopoic manipulative behavior end
breaking barriers
squirming emotionally
Sweet Bliss
Now I remind myself
while feeling afraid
to love life anyway
frothy and elusive
feeling lighter
than air
Perfect
Where inner light shines
and grows
at its hand.
The self explains
How spirits feel
A charm that permits
mind and body
to shine.
In spite of everything
I still believe
that people are really
good at heart.
has an opportunity in gaining
a deeper understanding
of our captives?
Overwhelming closure
begins to arise from inside
my body
wanting to make
phenomena as
unhappiness and
kaleidoscopoic manipulative behavior end
breaking barriers
squirming emotionally
Sweet Bliss
Now I remind myself
while feeling afraid
to love life anyway
frothy and elusive
feeling lighter
than air
Perfect
Where inner light shines
and grows
at its hand.
The self explains
How spirits feel
A charm that permits
mind and body
to shine.
In spite of everything
I still believe
that people are really
good at heart.
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