language barriers

Mandar and I had a very long conversation regarding my previous post about the family. We sat and talked for quite a long time earlier in the week discussing it. I found it interesting that his dad followed up on our visit, asking Dar, if I was offended when he told me to go help Mrs. Desai in the kitchen. My answer is yes I was offended, but it's not a fight I'm going to fight. I accepted it as the way it will be. 2 hours later in the discussion with Dar, I came to realize I still have a lot of ground to cover in understanding his family. Despite the fact they have lived in the United States for over 40 years, their first language is not English and they have phrases (i.e. "in our family...") that are just used without realizing the implications of the situation in which it is used. They still struggle expressing themselves in most ways.

I think they know (according to Dar) that I have the most control over this wedding. Hopefully we'll learn sooner rather than later how to balance that aspect and their cultural-view of weddings (that it's about the parents). It's new for them and it's new for me. In the end it I believe we will come together.

It's halfway through August and I have completed visiting all of the Bed and Breakfasts in Riverside. I'm working via email with my photographer. I was introduced to the Florist I'm most interested in working with. And I have collected addresses for about 150 people. We leave Thursday for 4 days and I would like to finish with the B&Bs, if possible, before then and more things to clean out and organize in the back of our house.