talcum powder.

Wow. Corey and I just finished the Save-the-Dates. I'm completely on wedding overload. I was so busy at work last week, that I was unable to follow up with the Bed & Breakfasts for some of our guests. That will have to take place tomorrow. I did a little bit of emailing with Ingrid and trying to nail down her contract. AND then I dragged Mandar out to the Beach with me to see what Corey and I were accomplishing with the paper. She is such an amazing designer and I am so glad that she's one of my best friends and is doing this for me. As soon as I get some images of her hard work, I'll post them.

I spent this past weekend in wedding mode too. Not my wedding however. Dar and I went to Connecticut for his friend from High School's wedding. There was HUGE group of High School friends there...his friends that is. So different and removed from my world. Hearing them talk about life growing up, felt like some sort of fairy tale or straight out of a book. Not real life. Everyone's smart. At least 6 doctors from his small high school class. I have none.

2 years ago at his 10 year High School Reunion, some guy (not a friend) discovered I was from Arkansas. He went on to discuss his one year living in Mississippi and talked at will about how incredibly Racist we were in the south. How prejudiced we were against "black people". He talked down to me and was rather insulting, like I had some sort of mental block and if he lectured me long enough I would rise above my past and, I don't know, become a midwestern. I wanted out of the conversation but before I made my escape, I asked him where all the black people were he graduated with.

Since then, I've had an odd taste about this highly-educated, no crime town from where Dar was raised. Don't get me wrong, I very much enjoy being around Dar's High School friends and part of me is very jealous that he was able to establish such great relationships. Maybe a lot of it does come from some jealousy. They were certainly exposed to a lot of things I only dream about. I wonder how my life would have been different.

But here I am. I am where I am. Dar has a large group of really wonderful friends. I have a small group, but wonderful nonetheless.

Oh, and the Talcum Powder from my post title you continue to ponder? Some exploded in a suitcase outside our plane in Connecticut. Fire Trucks. Haz Mat. Full suits and gear. It could have been anthrax. or heroine. or talcum powder. I mean if you breathe it in, it could kill you. Definately head to toe suits were needed. Delay: 30 minutes.

language barriers

Mandar and I had a very long conversation regarding my previous post about the family. We sat and talked for quite a long time earlier in the week discussing it. I found it interesting that his dad followed up on our visit, asking Dar, if I was offended when he told me to go help Mrs. Desai in the kitchen. My answer is yes I was offended, but it's not a fight I'm going to fight. I accepted it as the way it will be. 2 hours later in the discussion with Dar, I came to realize I still have a lot of ground to cover in understanding his family. Despite the fact they have lived in the United States for over 40 years, their first language is not English and they have phrases (i.e. "in our family...") that are just used without realizing the implications of the situation in which it is used. They still struggle expressing themselves in most ways.

I think they know (according to Dar) that I have the most control over this wedding. Hopefully we'll learn sooner rather than later how to balance that aspect and their cultural-view of weddings (that it's about the parents). It's new for them and it's new for me. In the end it I believe we will come together.

It's halfway through August and I have completed visiting all of the Bed and Breakfasts in Riverside. I'm working via email with my photographer. I was introduced to the Florist I'm most interested in working with. And I have collected addresses for about 150 people. We leave Thursday for 4 days and I would like to finish with the B&Bs, if possible, before then and more things to clean out and organize in the back of our house.

change over

I've moved locations. I wanted a more user-friendly update-able format. I am keeping the google sites location for the "extras". Now I have to set up the guest site, as this page provides way too many in-depth details for my typical guest.

culture clash

Updates to website include photos under Venue section and the new Fabric page!

I'm feeling very overwhelmed. Not from the massive amounts of photo I have uploaded (most of which are not published yet!), but from working through details of the planning. To be expected, right? Unfortunately, I feel, most of the stress is very undeserved. Mandar and I spent last weekend in NC with his family. One night with his parents and a second night with his sister. I got to pick up the clothing they bought for me and family. While I was excited, it was very tempered. The presentation of them felt forced from his family. Awkward. Out of place.

And if I hear "in our family..." one more time, I might scream.

Thankfully, my saving grace was Lindsey. Fabulous friend. She and her wondeful boyfriend made the drive north with us. She was incredibly supportive, throughout the process of going through the planning talks with them.

If I picked one thing that seems the oddest to me, it is the fact that I am constantly setting boundaries with his parents. They are great and friendly and would do anything for us. Or so I think. They act as if they would completely take control of this whole process, albeit with no input from me, if I let them. So to appease them, they get to control the entire reception dinner! All Indian food. I am trying to meet their needs and wants with this. They also get to handle the Hindu ceremony, because that is beyond my scope. They get some time to work with the food, but the ceremony needs to get going. I have sent them all the information they need to contact the Hindu society here in Jacksonville, including a contact of a friend who is very involved in the society. They have proceeded with nothing. Apparently the only control they want is to tell me about how they do everything "in our family..." and not actually assist me in making it happen.

However, the clothing is beautiful. The jewelery is beautiful. They bought really wondeful things in India and I do appreciate their hard work in getting it all done.

So what's my game plan now? The August to-do list: I'm collecting addresses. Our parents have until the end of August to get me addresses. Meeting with Corey to get paper selected for EVERYTHING. Finalize the details of my photography contract with Ingrid. Start meeting with florists. Find location for Mehndi party--which means, checking out Bed & Breakfasts here in Riverside.

Other August activities include: keeping up my backyard grass-growing endeavor, 1 wedding shower for a friend, 3 nights in the Northeast (1 in Massachusetts and 2 in Connecticut for wedding preceeded by a quick hello to my aunt and uncle), the beginning of the Jaguars football season with one home preseason game (!), organizing our back room and guest bedroom for guests visiting and wedding storage space (!!), and preparing for an 8-day visit from my dad at the beginning of September.

And I'm off!